Tuesday, March 31, 2009

"Is there such a thing as being too magical?"~ Dallas Clayton

Just before I started my blog I heard about a writer named Dallas Clayton. I wrote a note about him on my FB page but I just realized that it probably didn't reach many people....I thought I'd repost some of my favorite things on here instead. Check him out and enjoy!

I urge you think less
about the words you choose for your songs.
It is taking too much time.
Time you could be spending
high up on a bridge
late at night
with your legs slung over the side
writing bad graffiti
unknowingly risking your life
to tell people something
that most of them can’t even read
and even fewer can understand.


A powerful song
is onethat makes me remember
that never actually happened to me.


Sometimes people love music so much
they burn churches
buy guns
and shoot down strangers.
Other times people love music so much
they sing.

Monday, March 30, 2009

“I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.”

I want to preface this by saying that I actually had a really great night at work. Great tables, great people and great money....sometimes you just need to vent. I work as a server (or waitress, if you want to be less politically correct) and there are a few things that really grind my gears.

  • When I ask you if there is anything else that you need and you ask for ketchup....fine. When I return to your table and you ask for salt...*sigh* fine. When I return to your table and you ask for A1 sauce...WHY DON'T YOU ASK FOR EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE?
  • When I ask if you want cream and/or sugar for your coffee and you say 'No'. Then you return to the table with your coffee and you look at me like I'm a moron and say "Cream and sugar?"
  • When you interrupt me while I am telling you about the menu to ask questions about the menu....be patient.
  • When I am trying to deliver your food and don't move your bread plate....then you just look at me...slack jawed.
  • When you make fun of my accent in the first 60 seconds....especially when you want something from me....i.e. "We really like the bread, okay?" "I'll bring your bread out post-haste." "You'll bring it what?" "Out." "Oooout? Ha ha ha. Say oooout and abooooout!" "Uh, no. And you can wait for your bread."

Check this out for me!

Once upon a time a few friends had a party, a little soiree, an intimate gathering and they invited another friend of theirs, a fellow who lived upstairs....madness ensued.

It's a long story but the point is that this fellow has made a movie and I think you should all check it out.


“Woman's happiness begins with her first love and ends about then”

Last night I had a dream where everyone ended up with their first love/first boyfriend again. I am not going to mention names but I would be deliriously happy if I ended up with 'my frist boyfriend'. For a long time we didn't talk at all (I think he thought that I was still obsessed with him) but by the end of highschool we had become friends again. And let me tell you, I had GOOD TASTE when I was a kid! He's sweet and funny and brilliant and kind and....engaged.

Oh well....

"You know what the craziest thing is? I actually thought after everything I've been through, I might end up with my high school boyfriend. Yeah, I don't think my story's gonna get tied up like that." -Carrie Bradshaw

Saturday, March 28, 2009

“Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy.”

"What are four walls anyways? They are what they contain. The house protects the dreamer."
I have always loved the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun". It is a story of challenge, rediculous risk taking, working hard, making friends and rediscovering oneself...and it helps that it's all set in the beautiful Tuscan countryside at Bramasole.
When I first read the book (which is very different from the film) I fell in love with the culture of the Italy. The food (recipes with olive oil, tomatoes, cheese and bread), the people (men who clap for your beauty and women who live their lives being worshiped like modern day goddesses) and the simple way that some of these people live their lives (working, taking a break for wine and a book and going home to family).
What I love most about Italy is it's sumptuousness. It's decadence. When I think of Italy I think of hunks of cheese and bread, tiny cups of espresso, sitting in a Piaza surrounded by beautiful architecture with gorgeous men whizzing by on brightly coloured Vespa's. I think of fashion (both cheap and chic and expensive and exquisite), I think of art (music, theatre and paintings) and I think of history (it is the place where everything began and the place that everything still revolves around).
I desperatley want to go to Italy someday.
Where do you want to go?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby

Over the past two weeks I have spent a lot of time at the parks with friends and have made a few observations. Theme parks are a very interesting place to people watch..you see people from every walk of life at every stage of their lives enjoying this incredible place.

The most interesting observation that I have made over the past few weeks was that when men become fathers they gain some sort of ridiculous, super-hero type strength. I watched dozens of men pick up their children with reckless abandon and toss them around like rag dolls while their children giggled with glee. I also saw a man pick up his child and hold him like a tray of drinks underneath the sign for Splash Mountain for a photo op. It was like the kid weighed 2 lbs!

I wonder how men can do this? What is it in their genetic makeup that gives them the strenght? At what point do they get comfortable enough with their children to know that they won't hurt them? When children are first born their fathers are so concerned with hurting them but when the kids reach a certian age the fathers really start to shine and bond with their children.

What do you think?

"A woman becomes a mother when she's pregnant, a man becomes a father when he sees the baby for the first time." ~Juno

Friday, March 20, 2009

“The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are, the more leisure we have.”

Friends visiting, working and life in general has been a DELIGHTFUL distraction for the past few days but here are a few things that have crossed my mind.....

  • Check out http://d23.disney.go.com/ if you're a real Disney fan. The advertising for this new venture by Disney was fantastically mysterious and absolutely captivating. I am DEFINITELY going to purchase a subscription to this magazine.

  • Really looking forward to going back to school but NOT looking forward to making the decision as to what school to attend. Should I go with geographic pros and cons? Or simply based on the programs? What is the difference between placement hours and interships? What about the money? Where can I find a good apartment? Can I find somewhere to live while I am so far away? QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS!

  • I have been dealing with an odd situation over the past few weeks with a friend/co-worker. Someone that I would have (up until now) called a friend has stopped acknowledging me completely. I might as well be just another brick in the wall. When I first noticed this behavior my initial reaction was to kiss ass, go out of my way to offer assistance at work and make conversation while the other party made no effort what so ever. Then, the other day at work, I came to the conclusion that I am not going to go out of my way to be kind to a person who shows me absolutley no respect. If you can turn off your affection towards me so easily than we obviously weren't the greatest of friends in the first place. Good riddens to bad rubbish.

  • I've not been on trolling the internets for the past few days becasue I have been supremely busy with real life but I would like to remind you to check out http://www.threadless.com/. I am a sucker for a funny t-shirt. My favorite one at the moment is a bitchin' blue shirt which says 'Forget Science, I'm donating my body to MAGIC!'

  • Things I am loving this week....my friends, face-painting, Mario Kart for the Wii, Margaritas, kids on leashes, laughing so hard that it makes you cry, the terms 'voiding' and 'evacuating', calling people on their bullshit, playing '20 Questions' while standing in lines, ackward moments from your childhood, getting my watch replaced and recieving $2000 checks from the government of a country I don't even live in!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

“If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.”

First I would like to remind you that what I write here is just my opinion but this is something that I feel strongly about.

I think that cheating is wrong. I understand that in many situations there are extenuating circumstances, things that may happen to make you unhappy with your mate or unhappy in your relationship. I also understand that people outside of a relationship can never know the whole story, they can never understand what goes on behind closed doors. However, I truly believe that the right and brave thing to do is to tell your mate before entering into another relationship (emotional or physical).

The reason that I find it so difficult to talk about this subject is because, sadly, it has become so common place. So many people do it! People that I care about, people that I respect and people that I would never have thought capable of such deception. Part of me tries to keep my mouth shut as tightly as possible, not passing judgement (because what would that accomplish?) but the other part shouts inside my head that what they are doing is wrong and hurtful. I have never been cheated on before but I can only imagine the pain of being decieved by the one person that you are supposed to be able to trust the most.

I urge you out there in cyberland to think about your actions, to be strong and brave....yes, telling the truth is going to be painful and unpleasant but don't you think it's worth it to keep your honour in tact?

"It is better to be told a hurtful truth than to be told a comforting lie.”

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

"Him" by Lily Allen
Would you please take me away from this place
I cannot bear to see the look upon your faces
And if there is some kind of god do you think he's pleased
When he looks down on us I wonder what he sees
Do you think he'd think the things we do are a waste of time
Maybe he'd think we are getting on just fine
Do you think he's skint or financially secure
And come election time I wonder who he'd vote for
Ever since he can remember people have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planes
He's lost the will he can't decide
He doesn't know who's right or wrong
But there's one thing that he's sure of this has been going on too long
Do you think he'd drive in his car without insurance
Now is he interesting or do you think he'd bore us
Do you think his favourite type of human is caucasian
Do you reckon he's ever been done for tax evasion
Do you think he's any good at remembering people's names
Do you think he's ever taken smack or cocaine
I don't imagine he's ever been suicidal
His favourite band is Creedence Clearwater Revival
Ever since he can remember people have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planes
He's lost the will he can't decide
He doesn't know who's right or wrong
But there's one thing that he's sure of this has been going on too long
Ever since he can remember people have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planes
He's lost the will he can't decide
He doesn't know who's right or wrong
But there's one thing that he's sure of this has been going on too long

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

"It takes a long time to grow an old friend."

Once upon a time you have a friend that will be with you for the rest of your life. You've been through everything together....the good times and the bad, highschool, university and the ackward times in between and after. Friends that you don't see for months, years even, and when you get back together it's like no time has passed (but you do have a whole lot more to talk about!).

These are the friends that you must really cherish. The ones that know all your stories, the ones that know your phone number off by heart, the people that can drive to your house on autopilot and the ones that know what you want from Tim Hortons.

You are going to need people like this in your life. People that feel like home when you hug them. They will be there for you when you feel so alone and confused about who you are and they will remind you of your sparkle. When you are together you can see yourself reflected in their eyes, the you that they love and will always love, the you that they met on the first days of highschool when you were scared and ackward (and so were they).

I am so fortune to have a handful of friends that I have had since highschool that I treasure and adore. Find yourself some and hold on tight.

"It's the friends that you can call at 4 AM that matter." ~Marlene Dietrich

Friday, March 6, 2009

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. ~Albert Camus

"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due. " ~William Ralph Inge

I have always been quite sure that I have some sort of social anxiety disorder. I hate going to parties unless I know everyone there, I can only muster up the courage to go to a bar if I've had something to drink and even small social gatherings can be intimidating. Often times I would much rather stay in with a book, my computer and folding laundry.

"If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. ~Don Herold"

I know that much of the fear that I experience is imagined. People are usually much too preoccupied with themselves to give a damn about what I'm wearing, what I say or how I behave. However, I can't help feeling as if every eye is on me (and not in the good way). I know that the main reason I panic when in social situations is my low self esteem. Despite all that I have accomplished in my life, if I am at a party I immediately revert to feeling like the fat goody two shoes that I was in high school.

"Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weights you down." ~Toni Morrison

I think that is why I continue to strive to be an interesting person, trying new things and not settling into a pattern or routine, I desperatley want to be an interesting person! Someone that others gravitate towards, someone that people talk about (in a good way) once the party is over, someone that people want to introduce to their other friends. I work hard to be that kind of person but despite how many life experiences that I have under my belt...if I don't have the confidence to talk about them...what's the use?

"The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all." ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

In my research about social anxiety disorder, I found that most sufferers were painfully shy...which I am clearly not. I think that it is odd that I have absolutely no problem making a fool out of myself in front of people I will never see again and I have no problem making a fool of myself in front of friends and close family but....when it's an acquaintance, a new friend or a prospective romantic partner...trouble. Usually what ends up happening (if I haven't avoided the potential situation) is that I turn into a bitch. I act like I'm too cool or I am mean to the person that is causing me to feel inadequate. Often times this person is just an innocent bystander who hasn't even given me a second thought since I appeared at the party or bar. Or, alternatively it is some poor person who has made the mistake of being nice to me which I automatically interpret as an attack (especially if it's a guy...at the bar...and there are drinks involved). How messed up am I that this is my first response? I'm like a porcupine...as soon as there is any movement BAM the quills shoot up.

Usually by the end of my enteries I have come to some sort of conclusion or realization but in this case I continue to be confused and frustrated with my behavior. Should I force myself to go outside of my comfort zone? Probably. Or should I just keep telling myself that if someone really wants to get to know me they will do it on my terms in a way that I do not find threatening? That doesn't seem realistic, does it?

*sigh* If anyone has any tips for me...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Never...ever...give up hope.

I was resistant to see this film, resistant may be an understatement...I believe that my exact words were 'if I ever see 'He's just not that into' I might have to kill myself'.

Back in 2005 I read the much hyped book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Instead of making me feel empowered and beautiful it left me feeling empty, embarrassed and defeated. Is this really the way that men felt? Have I been making an ass out of myself this whole time? Apparently the answer is yes.

Okay. What now? You sit around and wait for 'it' to happen? Isn't that tantamount to waiting for your White Knight to rescue you from the tower? I believe in putting yourself out there and you know what happens when you put yourself out there? You get hurt. And it sucks. A lot. However , as Gigi (the film equivalent of me) says "I may do a lot of stupid shit but I also know that I am a lot closer to finding love than you are." And that is what made me think that maybe this movie wouldn't be all bad. In the end it was about having hope...or faith. Faith in yourself.

The movie made a few other good points about love and dating. For instance, Drew Barrymore's character was experiencing the exhaustion of being rejected by 'seven different types of technology' stating that technology is necessary because 'people don't meet each other organically anymore'. Justin Long's character enlightened women everywhere by telling us that the 'spark is bullshit', it's just something that men invented so that they can have sex with women on the first date and later blame it on 'the spark'. Ouch...and oh my God yes.

In the end, all the story lines were tied up nicely with marriages, passionate kisses and optimistic new relationships. I wonder if that was supposed to erase the audiences new knowledge that they have wasted years of their lives on fruitless relationships? It didn't do that for me but it was still a cute film.

P.S. I would like to pose a question...is it ironic or pathetic that during the movie 'he's just not that into you' I text messaged the guy who is 'just not that into me'? Oh well, at least I'm self aware.

The Miracle to Come...

If you have a second or two today you should check out Mackenzie Thorpe. An inspired artist with a hopeful view of our world.

~Love is the answer.~

Monday, March 2, 2009

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Post Secret is my guilty pleasure...

...I wish they updated it more often....

At least mine is a fun blue colour!

I bought one of these today....I am officially old.

"When you are in love with someone you want to be near him all the time, except when you are out buying things and charging them to him." ~Miss Piggy

All of my life I have looked up to one celebrity. She is strong, she is beautiful, she is talented and she is in love with a Frog. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...I ADORE Miss Piggy.
"She wants everyone to treat her like a lady, and if they don't, she'll cut them in half." ~Frank Oz
Growing up I watched 'The Muppet Show', 'Muppet Babies', 'Muppet's Take Manhattan', 'A Muppet Christmas Carol' and 'The Muppet Movie' over and over again and I was constantly drawn to the strength and beauty of her character. She knew exactly what she wanted (Kermit and fame, but not necessarily in that order) and she went for it. She wasn't afraid to lie, cheat and, more often than not, 'HI-YAH!' to get what she wanted.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”~Miss Piggy

I also admired Miss Piggy's confidence. She was blissfully unaware that she is not traditionally beautiful but she works what God has given her. And when she worked it, she worked it for one Frog only...in my opinion, Miss Piggy and Kermit are one of the worlds most incredible power couples. Put together they could host any show, do countless charitable works and (if Miss Piggy got her way) have just as many kids as Brad and Angelina. Miss Piggy adores her Frog and her Frog...well, I wouldn't say that he adores her but he is certianly isn't immune to her charming persistence (a trait that I believe that I also possess).
“Only time can heal your broken heart just as only time can heal his arms and legs”~Miss Piggy

All, in all, I believe that Miss Piggy is the perfect woman...er, uh....pig lady? Regardless of her species she is talented, persistent, strong, ambitious, intelligent, beautiful and a hopeless romantic. I will continue to emulate her and will hopefully make a name and a place for myself just as she has....I just hope I can find my Kermit.

"In one rehearsal, I was working as Miss Piggy with Jim, who was doing Kermit, and the script called for her to slap him. Instead of a slap, I gave him a funny karate hit. Suddenly, that hit crystallized her character for me -- the coyness hiding the aggression; the conflict of that love with her desire for a career; her hunger for a glamour image; her tremendous out-and-out ego -- all those things are great fun to explore in a character."~ Frank Oz

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”

I love my family. If there was a word stronger than love I would use it to describe how I feel about my family. For a while now I have been trying to figure out how to design a tattoo that would truly express my love for my family. After looking a pictures of other people's tattoos and researching other ideas I came up with the idea of a quote and these are some of the one that struck a chord with me.
  • "Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." ~Paul Pearshall

  • "The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family." ~Lee Iacocca

  • "In every conceivable manner, the family is the link to our past, bridge to our future."

  • "A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life."

  • "If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."-George Bernard Shaw

  • "The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family."~Thomas Jefferson

  • "You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."~Desmond Tutu

  • "In time of test, family is best."~Burmese Proverb

However, in the end, I have decided that the best quote and most fitting quote I found was...."other things may change us, but we start and end with family."

Tattoo shop...here I come.