Thursday, July 8, 2010

"Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding."

When I was in high school I got to see my best friend every single day. It was great. We knew every single nuance of the days, weeks, months ahead.

When I lived in Florida I got to see my best friend everyday. It was great. I knew where she was and who she was with morning, noon and night.

Now I live on my own and I don't get to see my best friend(s) everyday. It sucks. I don't know what they're thinking, what they're doing or who they're with.

Friendship is hard sometimes.
Now, effort has to be made....when it comes to this you have two options.

1) Assume the best, give them the benefit of the doubt, look at the history of your friendship and see that you were and are friends for a reason. Trust.
2) Assume the worst, project your insecurities onto their response, ignore the history of your friendship and close yourself off. Mistrust.

If you follow Option 1, your friendship may not always be perfect but any misunderstandings or disappointments will be dealt with from a place of love, acceptance and honesty.

If you follow Option 2, your friendship will definitely not be perfect, things will be blown out of proportion and mountains will be made out of mole hills.

In this day and age contact is often diluted or misinterpreted by Facebook, text messages, e-mails, MSN and BBM. You get a message that says one thing and you believe another. Why? put a spin on it based on your feelings, your memories and your preconceived notions. I am at fault for this as much as anyone. I am aware.

But the important question do you stop it? The internet was designed as a tool for sharing information...but how can the nuances of genuine emotion be communicated by a machine? I suppose it really depends on you...not only do you need to be extra clear in the message you are sending but you also need to be open to receiving a message without bias or pre-judgement. Once again, I am at fault for this as much as anyone. I am aware.

I feel as if I'm missing the mark. I have so many ideas, concepts, theories and feelings swirling around in my brain and I cannot grab them quickly enough and force them out the tips of my fingers.
In the end...what I really want to say is...
I am extremely grateful for the very few friends that I have whom can trust completely.
I trust them not to hurt me (intentionally).
I trust them to give me the benefit of the doubt.
I trust them to stick up for me.
I trust them to consider the history of our friendship before throwing me under the bus.

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