Sunday, August 29, 2010

"God dwells within you, as you."

A few years ago I read the book "Eat. Pray. Love." At the time it was a beautiful concept...a woman who leaves everything comfortable and comforting behind to figure out who she is. When I read the book I thought "I want to do that...go away and experience other cultures...really find out who I am." Today I saw the film and I finallyl realized how sad this woman's life was...she had NO idea who she was. She had been in relationships since she was 15 years old and she never had time to figure out who she was, what she loved and where she was going. All her life she did what was expected of her- school, career, marriage, buying a house, having a child.

How awful would it be to know that there was nothing in the world that you genuinely cared about? Not people, or your job, or a hobby. She was just a mirror...instead of being her own person merely she reflected the love and passions of her friends, family and lovers. And even worse, she was totally aware of her absence of interests, faith and passion.

I could never, ever exist knowing that there was nothing unique about me.

Living the life of a chameleon...changing your colours to suit your surroundings. Sure, I think everyone does that to an extent, especially during high school and university. For heaven sakes I used to listen to Operation Ivy and wore studded bracelets that I bought at Claire's to impress a boy I liked...but eventually I understood...that wasn't for me (and neither was the boy).

I suppose everyone needs a time in their live where they can figure out exactly who they are. But...I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to start from scratch.

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